Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
