Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
