dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
