Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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