His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
