he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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