Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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