The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
