i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize