I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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