if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
