I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Jerry, you need to find god
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
