I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
