I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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