I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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