my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
