i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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