I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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