My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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