he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
