I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
