apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
