Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize