that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
