my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
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As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.