We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My pussy is not your playground.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...