worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
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Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
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I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My vagina is officially offended.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.