you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.