No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to