Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize