North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
