we're blogging at a bar
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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