Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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