Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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