I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
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He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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