So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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