but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
