Already got asked if we're dating
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
