Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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