i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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