so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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