let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
