what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
