I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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