Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Randomize