All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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