dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Don't make out with my wife yet
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
When are your genitals available?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
