I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
