HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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