After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
