Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
