is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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