you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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