After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize