ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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