So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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