Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
