Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
