I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
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