Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize