You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Fuck appropriateness.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
