Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
