I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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