god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
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