Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
