I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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