If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
