She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
