I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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